Welcome to Day 2 of our Body Liberation Week here at Byrnes Counseling Group! Yesterday, we talked about body neutrality, but today we’re diving into the deep end of the pool. We’re talking about the intersection of gender affirmation and fat liberation.
If you’ve spent any time in the queer community or looking for gender affirming care in Florida, you’ve probably noticed something: the "ideal" trans body shown in media is almost always thin, white, and able-bodied. But let’s be real, that’s not what our community actually looks like. Our community is a beautiful, loud, diverse mix of bodies, and it’s high time we talk about why you can’t truly have gender liberation without fat liberation.
As a trans-led practice, we see the way these two things overlap every single day. Being trans in a world that wants to box you in is hard enough; being fat in a world that views your body as a "problem to be solved" adds a whole other layer of nonsense. So, let’s unpack why these two movements are actually best friends.
The Core is Bodily Autonomy
At the heart of both fat liberation and transgender advocacy is one simple, radical idea: Your body belongs to you.
In the world of transgender counseling in Florida, we spend a lot of time talking about autonomy. You should have the right to decide how you present, how you identify, and what medical interventions (if any) are right for you. Fat liberation says the exact same thing. It’s the belief that every person, regardless of their size, deserves dignity, respect, and the right to exist without being harassed or forced to change.
When we fight for gender-affirming care, we are fighting against systems that want to gatekeep our happiness. When we fight for fat liberation, we are fighting against systems that use weight as a reason to deny us healthcare, jobs, and basic human decency. They are two sides of the same coin. If we say "keep your laws off my body" regarding gender, we have to say it regarding size, too.
The "BMI" Gatekeeper
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room (and no, that’s not a fat joke, it’s the medical system). If you’ve ever tried to access gender-affirming surgery, you’ve likely run into the BMI requirement.
BMI (Body Mass Index) is, frankly, a trash metric. It was created by a Belgian mathematician in the 1830s, not a doctor, to measure populations, not individuals. Yet, today, it is used as a primary gatekeeper for gender affirming care in Florida. Many surgeons won’t perform top surgery or gender-affirming bottom surgeries if a patient’s BMI is over a certain number.
This is a direct attack on the bodily autonomy of fat trans folks. It forces people into a "lose weight or no transition" trap, which often triggers disordered eating or keeps people in a state of intense gender dysphoria for years. At Byrnes Counseling Group, we know that your size should never be a barrier to living authentically. We’re here to help you navigate that explanation trap and find providers who see you, not just a number on a scale.
The Pressure to be "Passable" and Thin
There is a specific kind of pressure on trans and non-binary folks to fit a certain aesthetic. For many, "passing" (a complicated term we have mixed feelings about) feels like a safety requirement, especially here in Florida. Often, the societal "standard" for a trans woman is "willowy and feminine," while the standard for a trans man or masc-of-center person is "lean and muscular."
For fat trans folks, this pressure is doubled. Fatness is often gendered in ways that can be incredibly frustrating:
- Fat on a trans man might be seen as "feminine curves," leading to increased dysphoria.
- Fat on a trans woman might be used by transphobes to "masculinize" her features.
- Non-binary folks are often expected to be thin and androgynous to be taken seriously.
This creates a cycle where fat trans people feel they have to "earn" their gender by losing weight. But here’s the truth: Your gender is valid right now. You don’t need to be a certain size to be "trans enough" or "non-binary enough." Fat liberation teaches us to stop waiting for a "future body" to start living our lives.
Intersectionality Matters: Size, Race, and Gender
We can’t talk about fat liberation without acknowledging that fatphobia is deeply rooted in racism and anti-Blackness. Historically, the "ideal" body was defined in opposition to Black bodies. When we combine transness, fatness, and being a Person of Color, the layers of policing increase exponentially.
Prompt: A diverse group of fat trans and non-binary people of color laughing and sharing a meal together in a sunny park. The scene is vibrant, affirming, and centers joy and community connection, showing bodies of various sizes and expressions in a natural, positive light.
In our gender identity training and education work, we emphasize that true affirmation must be intersectional. If your "affirming" space only feels safe for thin, white trans people, it’s not actually an affirming space. We have to dismantle the idea that some bodies are "better" or "healthier" than others based on how they look.
Movement for Joy, Not Punishment
In our next post this week, we’re going to dive deeper into "Joyful Movement," but it’s worth a mention here. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, the gym or traditional fitness spaces feel like a battlefield. Between locker room anxiety and "weight loss" talk, it’s a lot.
Fat liberation encourages us to reclaim movement as something that feels good for our bodies, whether that’s dancing in the living room, stretching, or just taking a walk, without the goal being "shrinking ourselves." When we move in ways that honor our gender and our size, we’re practicing a radical form of self-care.
Why a Trans-Led, Fat-Positive Practice Matters
You might be wondering, "Tristan, why are you so fired up about this?" It’s because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to walk into a doctor’s office and have them ignore your actual health concerns because they’re hyper-focused on your weight. I know what it’s like to feel like your body is a "work in progress" rather than a home.
At Byrnes Counseling Group, we do things differently. We aren't just "tolerant" of different sizes; we are actively fat-positive. We understand that:
- Weight is not a moral failing.
- You can’t hate yourself into a version of yourself you love.
- Trans joy is possible at any size.
When you come to us for transgender counseling in Florida, you aren't going to get a lecture on your diet. You’re going to get a therapist who understands the nuances of minority stress, the impact of Florida’s changing laws, and the importance of finding sensory safety in your own skin.
The Radical Act of Existing
Simply existing as a fat trans person is an act of resistance. It’s saying to a world that wants you to be smaller and quieter, "No, I’m here, I’m big, I’m trans, and I’m not going anywhere."
If you’ve been struggling with the intersection of your body size and your gender identity, know that you aren't alone. It’s okay to have complicated feelings about your body. It’s okay to want changes and also want to be loved exactly as you are right now.
Let’s Do This Together
Whether you’re looking for EMDR therapy to process the trauma of medical gaslighting or you just need a safe space to talk about the unique challenges of being fat and queer in the South, we’ve got you.
Our team is dedicated to providing services that celebrate the whole you. We are proud to be a trans-led organization that puts liberation at the forefront of everything we do.
If you’re ready to start your journey toward a more affirming, body-neutral, or even body-positive life, reach out to us. We’d love to meet you and help you navigate the beautiful, complex mosaic of your identity.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where we talk about how to reclaim movement as a source of joy! You deserve to take up space, literally and figuratively. See you then!