If this week brings up a mix of feelings (grief, anger, connection, exhaustion, even joy) you’re not doing it wrong. Transgender Awareness Week can hold all of those things. It begins today, November 13, and runs through November 19, leading into Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) on Friday, November 20.

As a trans-identified therapist, I know remembrance matters. I also know trans people are more than the violence directed at us. This week can be a time to learn, show up for one another, celebrate trans life, and make space for whatever you’re carrying. You don’t have to do all of that at once, or at all.

What is Transgender Awareness Week?

Transgender Awareness Week is an annual time for education, visibility, storytelling, and advocacy. People and organizations use the week to help others understand trans lives and the issues affecting our communities. It leads into TDOR, a day of remembrance for transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people killed by anti-trans violence.

The word awareness can sometimes sound like the community is a topic for a school presentation. Trans people are people, not a pop quiz. But thoughtful awareness can matter: it can challenge misinformation, share real experiences, and help more people understand how to support trans communities.

And awareness isn’t only about loss. Trans people build families, make art, care for each other, fall in love, get bored at work, and argue about where to order lunch like everyone else. Visibility can mean recognizing the whole of our lives, not only the hardest parts.

For a helpful overview of the week and its purpose, see GLAAD’s Transgender Awareness Week guide.

TDOR’s history: remembering names, and the people behind them

Transgender Day of Remembrance was founded in 1999 by trans advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith. Its history is closely connected to the murders of two Black trans women: Chanelle Pickett, who was killed in 1995, and Rita Hester, who was killed in 1998.

Hester’s death, and the degrading, misgendering media coverage that followed, prompted community members to gather in her memory. Smith’s Remembering Our Dead project helped document and memorialize trans people killed through violence. November 20 became the date for TDOR, marking the anniversary of Pickett’s death. You can read more about this history in the City of Boston’s account of TDOR.

Many vigils include candlelight and the reading of names of people lost to anti-trans violence. The names matter. So does the care taken to speak them respectfully and recognize the people who lived full, complex lives beyond the circumstances of their deaths.

TDOR remains important because violence and the conditions that enable it have not disappeared. At the same time, the names read at vigils may reflect what has been documented and reported, not every life lost. That’s one reason remembrance needs to go alongside everyday work for safety, dignity, healthcare, and community support.

Remembering is not the same as asking trans people to spend the whole week in grief. The people we honor were more than a list. Our lives now are more than one, too.

St. Petersburg TDOR: local details for November 20

If you’re in the Tampa Bay area, the St. Petersburg TDOR gathering is scheduled for Friday, November 20, 2026, from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.

Participants will meet at Sunshine Senior Center, 330 5th St. N. A candlelight procession will go to the steps of City Hall, 175 5th St. N., for a memorial service. Candles will be provided, though attendees are encouraged to bring one if they can. Afterward, people are invited to walk to The Hollander Hotel, 421 4th Ave. N., to spend time together.

Check the Tampa Bay LGBT Chamber event listing for the latest details before heading out.

I’m involved with Metro Tampa Bay’s TDOR, and events like this are built with care by community members. If you’re an ally attending, you don’t need a perfect speech. Show up, listen, follow the lead of trans organizers, and let the moment center the people being remembered, not your own response to the news.

A few practical ways to be respectful:

  • Use the names and pronouns shared by organizers and speakers.
  • Don’t photograph or post images of people without their consent.
  • Make room for trans people to speak, grieve, and connect without being asked to explain the community.
  • If you want to help, follow the organizers’ direction rather than assuming what’s needed.

If you’re looking for ways to connect beyond one evening, TransNetwork is a trans-run Tampa Bay organization offering community, advocacy, and resources. I’m a co-founder and board member, so I’m glad to point local folks toward the work happening there.

Caring for yourself when the information feels heavy

Reading names or following news about anti-trans violence can stir up grief, anger, fear, numbness, or memories of your own experiences. You’re allowed to choose how much you take in. Paying attention is not a test of your commitment.

If you’re trans or gender-expansive

  • Set limits on news and social media. Consider checking updates at a planned time, muting distressing accounts, or asking a trusted person to share only what you want to know.
  • Make a plan for the day. You might attend a vigil, join friends afterward, light a candle at home, or skip formal observances entirely. All of those choices are valid.
  • Ground in what’s here. Feel your feet on the floor, name a few things you can see, or hold a warm drink and take a slower breath. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate wellness routine. Sometimes the nervous system just wants us to stop doomscrolling in the bathroom.
  • Reach for community and joy. Text someone who gets it. Eat something you enjoy. Watch something comforting. Joy isn’t denial of violence; it can be part of staying connected to a life that belongs to you.

You can also make space for grief without forcing yourself to feel a particular way. There isn’t a correct emotional response to TDOR, and there isn’t a minimum number of names you have to read to prove you care.

If you’re an ally

Take care with your own feelings, too, but don’t make trans people responsible for managing them. You can process with other allies, journal, talk with a therapist, or take a quiet break. Then keep showing up in practical ways: respect people’s names and pronouns, challenge dehumanizing language when it’s safe to do so, and support trans-led community work.

Supporting the trans community is ongoing. A memorial matters; so do the ordinary choices that make people safer and more welcome in daily life.

When it’s time to talk to someone

If this week brings up more than you can hold alone, you deserve support that doesn’t make you defend who you are. Byrnes Counseling Group is a trans-led practice offering identity-affirming, trauma-informed therapy for LGBTQ+ adults, including transgender and gender-expansive people across Florida.

You can learn more about our gender-affirming therapy and LGBTQ+ affirming therapy, or explore TransNetwork for local community connection.

This week can hold remembrance and life, sorrow and laughter, a vigil and the quiet relief of being understood. Take the parts that help. Leave room for your own pace. You belong in trans spaces whether you show up with a candle, a friend, a complicated feeling, or no words at all.