If you've been feeling like every time you open your phone, another piece of legislation is trying to erase you, you're not imagining it. And if the weight of that has started to feel unbearable, I want you to know something: you're not weak. You're not "too sensitive." You're having a completely normal reaction to an abnormal amount of hostility directed at your existence.
Here in Florida, we've watched bills like HB 743 and HB 347 make their way through committees. We've seen the headlines. We've doom-scrolled at 2 AM when we should've been sleeping. And honestly? It's exhausting. As a trans therapist running an affirming practice, I feel it too. The news isn't abstract for me, it's personal. It's about my community, my clients, my own life.
But here's what I've learned, both as a clinician and as someone living this: the antidote to isolation isn't more information. It's connection.
So let's talk about finding your people when the world feels like it's working overtime to make you feel alone.
First, Permission to Step Back
Before we dive into the "how," let's start with the "it's okay."
It's okay to mute the news apps. It's okay to skip the comment sections. It's okay to not have a take on every bill, every hearing, every awful thing a politician said this week. Staying informed is important, but staying alive, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, is more important.
Think of it like oxygen masks on an airplane. You can't help anyone if you've passed out from the pressure. Self-care isn't selfish when the news cycle feels relentless. Caring for yourself and the people you love is part of maintaining your capacity to show up for your community when it counts.
So if you need to take a break from the headlines this week? Do it. The fight will still be there when you're ready. And you'll be more effective when you're not running on fumes.
Why "Your People" Matter More Than Ever
Here's the thing about being part of a marginalized community: we're often told, explicitly or implicitly, that we don't belong. That message gets louder when it's coming from the state legislature. When bills are literally designed to make us invisible, it can start to feel like there's nowhere safe to exist.
That's exactly why finding your people is so critical right now.
Community acts as an anchor during uncertain times. It provides both emotional support and practical ways to process distress. When someone in a group says "I've felt the same way," it's profoundly validating. It reminds us that we're not broken, we're just navigating a broken system together.
Research consistently shows that genuine connections are a mental health tool and source of resilience. Not a luxury. Not a nice-to-have. A tool. One that can literally help you survive.
And I'm not talking about thousands of Instagram followers or surface-level friendships where you only talk about the weather. I'm talking about relationships where you share core values and can actually be vulnerable. The kind of people you can text at 11 PM with "today was really hard" and they just get it.
So Where Do You Actually Find These People?
Okay, this is the part where I get practical. Because "find your community" is great advice, but it can feel impossibly vague when you're burnt out and barely leaving the house.
1. Affirming Therapy (Yes, I'm Biased, But Hear Me Out)
Working with a therapist who actually understands your experience, who isn't going to make you explain what "nonbinary" means or why the news feels like a personal attack, can be life-changing. You deserve a space where you can process without having to educate.
At Byrnes Counseling Group, we're a trans-led practice. That's not just a checkbox, it's baked into how we approach everything. When I sit with a client who's terrified about what's happening in Tallahassee, I'm not observing from the outside. I'm in it with them. That shared understanding creates a different kind of therapeutic relationship.
If you're not in Florida or we're not the right fit, look for therapists who specifically list LGBTQ+ affirming care. Check if they have lived experience or specialized training. Ask questions. You deserve someone who gets it.
2. Queer Social Groups and Community Organizations
This might look different depending on where you live, but most areas have some form of LGBTQ+ community organization, even if it's small. Look for:
- LGBTQ+ centers (many host support groups, social events, and workshops)
- Pride organizations (they often do more than just the annual parade)
- Trans-specific support groups (peer support can be incredibly powerful)
- Queer book clubs, hiking groups, gaming nights, basically, any activity you already enjoy, but gay
If in-person options are limited, online communities can be just as meaningful. Discord servers, Facebook groups, Reddit communities, these spaces have helped countless people find connection when their local options were sparse or unsafe.
3. Hobby Groups (The Ones That Have Nothing to Do With Being Queer)
Here's a slightly counterintuitive suggestion: sometimes the best community isn't explicitly LGBTQ+ focused.
Joining a pottery class, a running club, a D&D group, or a community garden can introduce you to people who share your interests, and some of them might turn out to be queer too. Even if they're not, having spaces where your identity isn't the topic can be a relief. Sometimes you just want to make a lopsided mug without discussing legislation, you know?
The key is finding activities where you can be yourself without masking. That might mean testing a few spaces before you find the right fit. And that's okay.
4. Mutual Aid and Activist Spaces
If staying engaged feels important to your mental health (and for some people, action is the best medicine), consider getting involved with local mutual aid groups or advocacy organizations. Equality Florida, local ACLU chapters, PFLAG, and grassroots groups are always looking for volunteers.
Even small acts contribute to collective resilience. Cooking for someone who's overwhelmed, checking in via text, showing up to a rally, these things matter. And they connect you to others who share your values.
Nurturing the Connections You Already Have
Before you go searching for entirely new communities, take a moment to reflect on where you already experience connection. Maybe it's a friend you haven't texted in a while. Maybe it's a family member who's been supportive. Maybe it's a coworker who made a comment once that made you think "oh, they might get it."
Start there. Reach out. Say "hey, I've been struggling with everything in the news: can we talk?" You might be surprised how many people are feeling the same way and just waiting for someone else to name it first.
Community care looks like tangible gestures: checking in, sharing a meal, asking "have you eaten today?" It doesn't have to be elaborate. It just has to be real.
You Don't Have to Do This Alone
The headlines will keep coming. The bills will keep moving through committees. And some days, it's going to feel like too much.
But you don't have to white-knuckle your way through this alone. The healing you're looking for lies in the relationships you form and nurture. In the people who see you, who hear you, who remind you that you matter: not despite who you are, but because of it.
So this week, I'm challenging you: reach out to one person. Join one group. Take one small step toward building or strengthening your community. The news will still be there. But so will your people.
And if you're looking for a therapist who gets it: who's in the community, not just an ally to it: we're here. No gatekeeping. No having to explain yourself. Just support.
You deserve that. 💜